I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?