My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?