That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"