Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction

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(864): I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction http://tfl.nu/jk7c

Replies (71) Good night (5497) Bad night (967)
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(563): View more from Iowa

whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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(563): whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend. http://tfl.nu/jypi

Replies (72) Good night (5287) Bad night (683)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...

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(614): So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date... http://tfl.nu/r091

Replies (10) Good night (1245) Bad night (3776)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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(403): I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass http://tfl.nu/mda2

Replies (17) Good night (3065) Bad night (2592)
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(519): View more from Ontario

he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job

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(519): he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job http://tfl.nu/3g10

Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (3698)
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(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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(661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8

Replies (10) Good night (1819) Bad night (1208)
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(512): View more from Texas

I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.

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(512): I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings. http://tfl.nu/0ge6

Replies (10) Good night (2449) Bad night (1679)
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(319): View more from Iowa

As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.

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(319): As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em. http://tfl.nu/jzfe

Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (930)
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(208): View more from Idaho

This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?

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(208): This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy? http://tfl.nu/c53s

Replies (13) Good night (1018) Bad night (2938)
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(925): View more from California

Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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(925): Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life. http://tfl.nu/t7ml

Replies (23) Good night (1299) Bad night (2401)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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(724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs

Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (642)
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(512): View more from Texas

My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"

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(512): My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!" http://tfl.nu/srq7

Replies (7) Good night (3012) Bad night (524)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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(570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6

Replies (7) Good night (1985) Bad night (422)
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(434): View more from Virginia

mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

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(434): mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team http://tfl.nu/khyn

Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (290)
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(818): View more from California

I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

(1-818): View more from California

At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

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(818): I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving (1-818): At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it. http://tfl.nu/g80b

Replies (1) Good night (825) Bad night (347)

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