guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
