Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
