As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
