very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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