I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
