I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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