I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize