Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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