yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
