So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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