don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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