Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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