take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Girls should come with a carfax report
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
