Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize