he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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