i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
