my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
