they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
