the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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