did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.