Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.