I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious