You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize