Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
