she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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