so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize