I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
