Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize