dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
