My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize