ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize