these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
