im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
