I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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