im drinking this country out of the recession.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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