my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
