My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize