I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
