I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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