I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
