And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
