I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Enjoy the penises
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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