my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
