This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
