Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
