I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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