It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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