Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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