I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
