I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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