Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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