i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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