A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
