we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
