I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
