I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
