Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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