I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize