Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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