Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
