If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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