Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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