So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
