we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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